MONKEY JOKES 

mONKEY jOKES




A monkey walks into a drugstore and orders a fifty-cent sundae.

He puts down a ten-dollar bill to pay for it.

The clerk thinks, "What can a monkey know about money?"

So he hands back a single dollar in change and says, "

You know, we don't get many monkeys in here."

"No wonder," answers the monkey, "At these prices you won't get many more."

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Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

- Kin Hubbard (1868-1930), American Newspaper Humorist.

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Why did the monkey cross the road?

Because it was the chicken's day off

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How do monkeys get down the stairs? 

They slide down the banana-ster

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Why did the monkey put a net over his head?

Because he wanted to catch his breath.

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What do you call a Monkey in a garden?

A Plant Manger

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What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?

Very lost

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How do you train King Kong?

Hit him with a rolled up newspaper building.

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If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?

Pay him.

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If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?

Twenty after one

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What side of a monkey has more hair?

The outside.

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What do you call a Monkey in a tree?

A Branch Manager

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What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?

It won't be long now.

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What do monkeys do for laughs?

They tell people jokes

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What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla?

Sir

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Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?

Because he had to take care of some monkey business

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What kind of key doesn't open a door?

A monkey

What did the banana say to the monkey?

Nothing. Bananas don't talk

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Where do monkeys pick up wild rumors?

Over the apevine.



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