MONKEY JOKES
mONKEY jOKES
A monkey walks into a drugstore and orders a fifty-cent sundae.
He puts down a ten-dollar bill to pay for it.
The clerk thinks, "What can a monkey know about money?"
So he hands back a single dollar in change and says, "
You know, we don't get many monkeys in here."
"No wonder," answers the monkey, "At these prices you won't get many more."
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Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
- Kin Hubbard (1868-1930), American Newspaper Humorist.
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Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off
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How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster
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Why did the monkey put a net over his head?
Because he wanted to catch his breath.
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What do you call a Monkey in a garden?
A Plant Manger
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What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Very lost
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How do you train King Kong?
Hit him with a rolled up newspaper building.
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If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?
Pay him.
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If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
Twenty after one
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What side of a monkey has more hair?
The outside.
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What do you call a Monkey in a tree?
A Branch Manager
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What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won't be long now.
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What do monkeys do for laughs?
They tell people jokes
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What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla?
Sir
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Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business
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What kind of key doesn't open a door?
A monkey
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing. Bananas don't talk
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Where do monkeys pick up wild rumors?
Over the apevine.


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