MONKEY JOKES

A monkey walks into a drugstore and orders a fifty-cent sundae.



He puts down a ten-dollar bill to pay for it.

The clerk thinks, "What can a monkey know about money?"

So he hands back a single dollar in change and says, "

You know, we don't get many monkeys in here."

"No wonder," answers the monkey, "At these prices you won't get many more."

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

- Kin Hubbard (1868-1930), American Newspaper Humorist.

Why did the monkey cross the road?

Because it was the chicken's day off

How do monkeys get down the stairs?

They slide down the banana-ster

Why did the monkey put a net over his head?

Because he wanted to catch his breath.

What do you call a Monkey in a garden?

A Plant Manger

What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?

Very lost

How do you train King Kong?

Hit him with a rolled up newspaper building.

If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?

Pay him.

If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?

Twenty after one

What side of a monkey has more hair?

The outside.

What do you call a Monkey in a tree?

A Branch Manager

What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?

It won't be long now.

What do monkeys do for laughs?

They tell people jokes

What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla?

Sir

Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?

Because he had to take care of some monkey business

What kind of key doesn't open a door?

A monkey

What did the banana say to the monkey?

Nothing. Bananas don't talk

Where do monkeys pick up wild rumors?

Over the apevine.

What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

The Farmer and the Strangers Not rated yet
Once 3 guys where riding along in their tractor until their tractor broke down Then next day they visited a farmers house and asked if they could stay …

Mokey 4 u Not rated yet
Q: How do you catch a monkey A: You climb a tree and act like a banana

heheheheheh Not rated yet
what laughs alot and is cute? Dayna

Bunny Farts Not rated yet
Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny Farts

The man crossing the road Not rated yet
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? He was looking for the second hand store (!)

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