MONKEY JOKES
Listing by Chitika
A monkey walks into a drugstore and orders a fifty-cent sundae.
He puts down a ten-dollar bill to pay for it.
The clerk thinks, "What can a monkey know about money?"
So he hands back a single dollar in change and says, "
You know, we don't get many monkeys in here."
"No wonder," answers the monkey, "At these prices you won't get many more."
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
- Kin Hubbard (1868-1930), American Newspaper Humorist.
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Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off
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How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster
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Why did the monkey put a net over his head?
Because he wanted to catch his breath.
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What do you call a Monkey in a garden?
A Plant Manger
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What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Very lost
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How do you train King Kong?
Hit him with a rolled up newspaper building.
If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?
Pay him.
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If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
Twenty after one
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What side of a monkey has more hair?
The outside.
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What do you call a Monkey in a tree?
A Branch Manager
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What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won't be long now.
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What do monkeys do for laughs?
They tell people jokes
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What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla?
Sir
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Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business
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What kind of key doesn't open a door?
A monkey
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing. Bananas don't talk
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Where do monkeys pick up wild rumors?
Over the apevine.
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Q: How do you catch a monkey
A: You climb a tree and act like a banana
what laughs alot and is cute?
Dayna
Whats invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny Farts
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
He was looking for the second hand store (!)
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