A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50
feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a woman walking a
mean looking dog on a leash.
Behind that were about 2000 women and men walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity.
She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said,
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to ask you,
but I've never seen a funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?"
The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."
"What happened to him?"
"My dog attacked and killed him," the woman replied.
"Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother in law. My dog killed her too."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.
Then suddenly, the second woman asks, "Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line!"
-- Short Mother in Law Joke --
Why were Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world?
Because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
The lawyer cabled his client overseas:
"Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep.
Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?"
Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."
Mother to daughter.
Your boyfriend such a jerk that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law.
I always know
when it's the
mother-in-law knocking at the door
– the mice throw themselves in the traps.
A pharmacist tell a customer:
In order to buy arsenic you should need a legal prescription.
A picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough.
says to the other:
"I can't stand my mother-in-law."
The other says: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"
How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
My mother-in-law asked me,
"If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the mantle piece (shelf above the open fireplace)?"
I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire."
My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
How is she now?
She's fine, but the dog died.
Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law and I were happy for 20 years.
Then we met each other.