NORWEGIAN JOKES
Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. Ole says to Sven, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.
They don't have it there" Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc...
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble.
Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.
When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration.
So Sven jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Ole notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.
Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, he is bruised and bleeding.
Again Ole misses him. Sven falls again and bounces back up.
This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Hardly able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd.
What the hell is a pi ata?
Funny Norwegian Jokes
Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon.
Lena is laying naked on the bed
Ole "Lena vhat you doing, lying there naked on the bed"?
Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear".
Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses".
Ole opens the closet door.
Ole "See, here's one dress, another dress, another dress, Hello Lars, another dress, another dress, isn't that enough?"
Funny Norwegian Jokes
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.
He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."
"Vell, dat's kind of you, Judge," said Ole.
"Vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."
Funny Norwegian Jokes
"Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson.
He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they would save enough on food bills to pay for the freezer.
Ole responded that they were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. And they were saving on movie tickets with the price of cable TV."
Finally, Ole said, "And we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer.
So, I guess ve have to say, ve can't afford to save any more right now."
Funny Norwegian Jokes
A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm.
"Where did you find that monkey?" asked the Norwegian.
"It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede.
"Shut up, you stupid Swede! I am talking to the duck."
Funny Norwegian Jokes
Did you hear about Ole's nephew Torvald who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
Yeah, he had it bronzed.
Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life."
And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low railings."
Funny Norwegian Jokes
Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework.
He had a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due--writing an essay about his origin. He turned to question his mother.
"Mama, vere did Grandma come from?" he asked.
"Da stork brought her," answered mama Lena.
"And vere did yew come from?" asked Little Ole.
"Da stork brought me," his mother answered.
"And vere did I come from?" Little Ole inquired.
"Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," mama Lena replied. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay:
"Dere
have been no natural births in our family for three yenerations."
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