Parrot Jokes -- More Animal Jokes -- Swearing Parrot
A guy has a parrot that swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
But the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy...
One day, it gets a bit too much and the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him, and yells, "STOP IT!"
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets furious and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggrevates the bird, he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invectives that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din.
The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets all quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts getting worried. After a couple of minutes of silence, he can't help but opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you.
I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astonished. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
Parrot Jokes -- Parrot Joke -- A Smart Parrot
A young man's mother moved to Miami Beach and he didn't see her that often.
His father was no longer around and he was worried that his mom was feeling alone.
For her birthday, he bought an expensive parrot, trained to speak seven languages.
He had a courier deliver the bird to his dear mother.
A few days later, he rang the mom.
"Ma, what do you think of the bird?"
"The bird was not too bad, just a little tough. Maybe I should have cooked it longer."
"You ate the bird? Ma, the bird was very expensive. It spoke seven languages!"
"Oh, I am sorry. But if the bird was so smart, why didn't it say anything when I put it in the oven?"
Parrot Jokes -- Pets Jokes -- Animal Knock Knock Jokes
The mail carrier had a registered letter that needed a signature.
Receiving no response to his knock on the front door, he went around to the back door which he found open, except for the screen door.
He knocked again. A high pitch voice from inside said, "Come in."
The mail man enters the kitchen, and was confronted by the largest Rottweiler he had ever seen.
The dog bared his fangs menacingly, forcing the post man against the wall.
He shouted, "Lady, call off you dog before he eats me alive."
The only response he got was that same high pitch voice coming from the next room saying, "Come in."
Pressing his body against the wall, he slowly worked his way to the door way leading to the next room.
Looking around, he saw the room was empty, except for a parrot in a cage.
After the threat from the huge dog, he was becoming quite nervous and said to the parrot, "Don't you know any words other than 'Come in?"
Without a moments hesitation the parrot responded, "Now get him Killer!"
Parrot Jokes -- Animal Rights Jokes -- Funny Clean Animals Jokes:
A lady is walking down the street to work as she sees a parrot in a pet store.
The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady gets furious! And she storms past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said again, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day as she passed the shop it said again, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so mad that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager said, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
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