PHILOSOPHY JOKES


Funny Philosophy Jokes

A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe at every speech while his boss would easily answer questions about morality and ethics.




Then one day the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for the evening's lecture.

The philosopher agreed and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well.

When it came time for questions from the guests, a woman in the back asked, "Is the epistemological view of the universe still valid in an existentialist world?"

"That is an extremely simple question," he responded.

"So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer that, which is exactly what he will do."

-- Philosophy Jokes --

The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him:

"Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"

Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working.

A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said,

"I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream - how about with no milk?"


-- Philosophy Jokes --

A job hunter, a philosophy major, went here, there and everywhere in his search for employment, but in vain.

Having run out of options, he swallowed his pride and took up the offer of playing a bear in a costume at a zoo.

He was locked up in a cage, where he was supposed to imitate various bear-like movements to entertain visitors.

To his horror, another bear appeared in the cage and started approaching him.

He panicked and was on the brink of collapse when the bear said: "Don't be afraid. I'm also a philosophy major."

-- Philosophy Jokes --

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final.

Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class,

"Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student.

He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.

Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades...and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.

His answer to the question: "What chair?"





-- Philosophy Jokes --

One day the great philosopher Socrates came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said,

"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied.

"Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.

The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued.

"You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter -- the filter of Usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was shagging his wife.






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