POLICE OFFICER JOKES
Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 40km/h.
He thinks, “this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder.”
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over...
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back.
The driver, confused, says to him,
“Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?”
“Madam,” the officer replies,
"You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving much slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked.
"No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Fourty kilometres in an hour,” the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “40″ was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car ok?
These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks.
“Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 195.”
-- Police Officer Jokes -- Police Officer Jokes --
An elderly couple were driving cross-country in their beloved Skoda, with the wife at the wheel. She gets pulled over by a traffic cop.
The officer says "Did you know you were speeding back there?"
The woman being slightly dea , turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man shouts, "He says you were speeding."
The officer says, "May I see your license?"
The old woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man shouts, "He wants to see your licence."
The woman gives him her licence.
The officer says, "I see you are from Fareham.
I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks,
"What did he say."
The old man yells, "He thinks he knows you!"
-- Police Officer Jokes -- Police Officer Jokes --
Police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The elderly driver says,
"Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:
"Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control"
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
"Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Dammit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says,
"And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says,
"Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks,
"Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking".
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