Funny Pregnancy Jokes

An American man is on a train in a European country.

His seatmate knows some English, and they end up chatting.

The seatmate asks if the American has children...

The American says no.

"Ah, so sad," says the European.

"Your wife, she is impregnable?"

"Well, um, that's not exactly the word," says the American.

"Oh!" interrupts the European.

"I mean, she is inconceivable?"

"Um, not quite --" the American begins, only to be interrupted again.

"Oh, no, that isn't right," says the European.

"She is, what is it, she is unbearable?"

"Well, actually, that's pretty much sums it up," says the American.

Funny Pregnancy Jokes

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.

Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl."

"How wonderful," says the woman.

"Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother..."

She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"


"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew. "

Funny Pregnancy Jokes

Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office.

When the exam was over, she shyly began,

"My husband wants me to ask you if its still okay..."

"I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder,

"I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."

"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed.

"He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

Funny Pregnancy Jokes

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out.

They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this, they decided to try for 50 percent.

The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

Funny Pregnancy Jokes

A woman went to the doctor's office.

She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained.

He had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded,

"What's the matter with you?

Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?"

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.

"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"

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