REALLY FUNNY QUICK JOKES ABOUT DRINKING
rEALLY fUNNY qUICK jOKES ABOUT dRINKING
Top Ten Reasons Why Beer is Better than Religion
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over their brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking -- Philosophy Joke
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was. The students laughed.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life.
The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else, the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks.
The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
But then a student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer.
Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.
The moral of this tale is: no matter how full your life is, there is always room for beer.
Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking -- Funny Drinking Jokes
One day two drinking buddies, Jim and Dave, were working on aircraft at JFK airport in NYC.
They got fogged in and finished up their work early and were sitting around bored.
Jim spoke up, “Man I really need a drink!”
“You know I heard a rumor you could drink jet fuel and get drunk.” Dave said.
“Really?” said Jim.
“That’s what I heard. Wanna try it?”
“Sure, hell I’ll try anything once!”
So with that they poured themselves a couple of glasses and began drinking the jet fuel.
They sipped a little bit to find it actually tasted quiet good.
So they drank more and more and sure enough they got stoned drunk.
The next morning Jim awoke feeling like a million bucks he jumped up wet to the bathroom feeling great like he was floating on air he hadn’t felt this good in years.
“Wow!” He said.
About that time Jim’s telephone rang… “Hello?”
“Hello Jim, this is Dave. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Man I feel great, no hang over, no sick, I feel like a million bucks. How about you?”
“Me too, but I have one question for you.”
“Sure, what is it”
“Have you farted yet?”
“Ummmmm No. Why?”
“DON’T. I’m in LA!”
Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking -- Funny Drinking Jokes
More Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking:
Funny
Drinking Quotes
Funnies Jokes Humor: Funny
Bar Jokes
Short Bar Jokes
Walks into a Bar
Jokes
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