Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking

Top Ten Reasons Why Beer is Better than Women...

10. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

9. You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.

8. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

7. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

6. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

5. Its ok to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.

4. Beer doesn't demand equality.

3. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

2. A beer is always ready to leave on time.

1. Beer never says no.

Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking -- Philosophy Joke

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was. The students laughed.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life.

The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else, the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks.

The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then a student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer.

Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is: no matter how full your life is, there is always room for beer.

Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking -- Funny Drinking Jokes

One day two drinking buddies, Jim and Dave, were working on aircraft at JFK airport in NYC.

They got fogged in and finished up their work early and were sitting around bored.

Jim spoke up, “Man I really need a drink!”

“You know I heard a rumor you could drink jet fuel and get drunk.” Dave said.

“Really?” said Jim.

“That’s what I heard. Wanna try it?”

“Sure, hell I’ll try anything once!”

So with that they poured themselves a couple of glasses and began drinking the jet fuel.

They sipped a little bit to find it actually tasted quiet good.

So they drank more and more and sure enough they got stoned drunk.

The next morning Jim awoke feeling like a million bucks he jumped up wet to the bathroom feeling great like he was floating on air he hadn’t felt this good in years.

“Wow!” He said.

About that time Jim’s telephone rang… “Hello?”

“Hello Jim, this is Dave. How are you feeling this morning?”

“Man I feel great, no hang over, no sick, I feel like a million bucks. How about you?”

“Me too, but I have one question for you.”

“Sure, what is it”

“Have you farted yet?”

“Ummmmm No. Why?”

“DON’T. I’m in LA!”

Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking -- Funny Drinking Jokes

What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Golden Saloon 
There was that one guy who came home blind drunk one night. His wife was not happy. Where the hell have you been all night, she asked. The guy …

poody poo wit' the hoody hoo 
"Hey snoop....duz you got t'e booozze?? i be t'inkin i wantz some mo'..." inquired Grody. "ya wit' th' chillin' ice-maka in th' back o' da boat G-Playa" …

Alcoholics Not rated yet
Im not an alcoholic. I only drink twice a year. On my birthday and not on my birthday.

A chop from Korea Not rated yet
So a redneck walks into a bar and sits down. He starts drinking calmly, but suddenly a fat asian sits next to him and hits the redneck. The asian …

Beermuda Not rated yet
When I first read about the consiquences of drinking, I gave up reading.

Ouch Not rated yet
A guy walks into a bar OUCH!!!

More Really Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking:

Funny Drinking Quotes

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Short Bar Jokes

Walks into a Bar Jokes

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