He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the
back of the theatre shouted:
"Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a stage you're going through!"
Suicide Jokes -- Scottish Man Jokes
A man walks into a library in Edinburgh Scotland and walks up to the counter and says to a young prim Scottish lass standing behind the counter
"I am a lonely old man and I am looking for a book on how to commit suicide would ye have such a book."
The lass look at him over the top of her glasses for a moment, then said,
"be away with you mon, you would noo bring it back."
Hilarious Short Stories -- Mad Cow Jokes
A man and his wife are seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.
After the waiter arrives the man says,
"I'LL have your biggest, thickest Porterhouse steak."
The waiter replies "But monsieur ... what about ze mad cow?"
The man replies, "She'll have a salad."
Really Funny Short Jokes -- Mental Jokes
A man is walking by an insane asylum and hears all the residents chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone pokes him in the eye.
Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"
Really Funny Short Jokes -- Drunks Joke
A drunk man phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio and even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Short Jokes --
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated loudly.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
Really Funny Short Jokes -- Short People Jokes -- Funny Hilarious Comedy Jokes
A short man walks in to the bar and begins to tell the bartender his story.
Well, he theths, I wath driving down thith country road, when I thaw a thine that thaid "horth for thale".
I jutht happened to be looking to buy a thorth, tho I turned up the driveway to thee about it.
The farmer wath quite nithe about thowing me the horth, but I made it clear to him that it had to be a healthy horth, not jutht any old thag back.
The farmer to me it wath a three year old mare.
When we got to the horth, I athked the farmer to pick me up to thee the hortheth eyth, becauth I wath too thort.
The farmer reluctantly picked me up to thee.
I checked the hortheth eyth, and they theemed great, and the farmer put me down.
Nexthd, I athked the farmer to pick me up to thee the hortheth teeth.
He wath even more reluctant thith time, but he did it.
I grabbed the hortheth lipth, lifted them, and tapped on the teeth to be thure they we tholid.
They were, and the farmer put me down.
We thtepped back thowards the hortheth hind quarter, looking towardth hith head, when I athked the farmer to thee the hortheth twat.
The farmer grabbed me, picked me up, and thtuck me in the hortheth bum.
Then he pulled me out and thtood me up, right at the back thide of the horth.
Well, I wath in thock.
I wath covered in poo, and some got in my mouth.
As I thpit it out, I thaid to the farmer, " Let me rephrathe that. Can I thee her gallop thlowly?"