Retirement Jokes Quotes

"Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty"
-- Joan Rivers

"The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life."

-- Muhammad Ali

"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down."

-- T.S. Eliot

"I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent."

-- Wendy Cope

"Nature gives you the face you have at twenty, but it's up to you to merit the face you have at fifty."

-- Coco Chanel

Retirement Jokes Quotes

"Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age"

-- French proverb

"You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older."

-- Anouk Aimee

"To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age."

-- Thomas B. Aldrich

"To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living."

-- Henri Frederic Amiel

"I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel."

-- Elizabeth Arden

"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."

-- Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

"I hope I never get so old I get religious."

-- Ingmar Bergman

Retirement Jokes Quotes

"In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us."

-- Josh Billings

"Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns to be amused rather than shocked."

-- Pearl S.

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

-- Billie Burke

"You must become an old man in good time if you wish to be an old man long."

-- Marcus T. Cicero

"Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative."

  -- Maurice Chevalier

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

  -- Bob Hope

"I have everything I had twenty years ago - except that it is now all lower."

  -- Gypsy Rose Lee

"The longer I live, the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."

  -- George Bernard Shaw

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it."

  -- Golda Meir

"The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."

  -- H. L. Mencken

"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

  -- Lucille Ball

Retirement Jokes Quotes

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

  -- Ogden Nash

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."

  -- Charles Schultz

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