The
Santa Claus at
the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old
walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very
nicely at him, so he asked her,
"What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother, please." said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you,''
smiled Santa.
"What do you want me to bring her?"
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
Father
Christmas: What's
your favorite Christmas story?
Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf
and they grow on trees!
Father Christmas: You mean 'The Three Little Figs'?
-- Short Santa Jokes --
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and
Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel.
Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the
floor.
Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don't
exist!
What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the
end of a play?
Santapplause.
What do you call people who are scared of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
What do you call Santa when he has no money?
Saint "Nickel"-less.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a flying saucer?
A UF ho, ho, ho
What do you
get if you cross
Santa with a gardener? Someone who likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish
And what goes oh! oh! oh?
Father Christmas walking backwards.
Christmas is the time when everyone gets Santamental.
-- Short Santa Jokes --
What's red & white and red & white and red &
white?
Santa rolling down a hill!
Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues.