Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes

Finnish Jokes About Other Scandinavians

A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm.

"Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian.

"It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede.

"Shut up, Swede! I am talking to the duck."

-- Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes --

A Swede was in a pub in Finland and a regular customer suggested to him:

"I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten beer bottles on your head."

The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of the peer pressure.

The Finn smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles.

"So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the Swede.

"I am not a total idiot," the Finn replied, "then I would have to give you that $200."

-- Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes --

Norwegian Jokes About Other Scandinavians

Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish.

Ole says, "The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400.

Well, at dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more of em than we did," says Sven.

-- Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes --

Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate!

How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned!

Sven and Lisa met on the boat as they proceeded to a new life in America and soon fell in love.

After clearing customs they went to City Hall to get a marriage license. Since neither one of them spoke much English one of the secretaries helped them fill out the required forms.

The lady asked Lisa "What's your nationality?"

Lisa said "I yust come over from da old country and don't unnerstand nationality. Vat's dat?"

The lady said "Well you are tall and blond and definitely have a Scandinavian accent. Don't you have a little Swede in you?"

Lisa blushed and said "Yah dat damned Sven, he yust couldn't vait."

Swedish Jokes About Other Scandinavians

A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette.

It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and covered his cigarette so he could continue smoking.

Now the Dane was wondering what it was because his cigarette was drenched and he couldn't smoke it anymore. He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some.

"They're called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there."

The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for some condoms.

The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. The Dane thought for a while and then replied: "Ones that fit on a Camel."

A Norwegian went to a museum. The tour guide was explaining: "This sword is over 2000 years old." The Norwegian paused for a second to think about it and then asked: "How is that possible? We are only in the year 1998."

-- Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes --

The Danish man had a problem. His wife was coming home on the train but he could not remember if she was coming at 8:40 or 4:80

Danish Jokes About Other Scandinavians

What's the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes?

Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

A bus with twenty Norwegians was driving into Sweden and it crashed on the highway, the owners were mad because they were Finnish and the bus could have fit thirty.

What sign is at the bottom of Norwegian Swimming Pools?

No Smoking.

-- Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes --

Why does the NEW Swedish navy have glass-bottom boats?

To see the OLD Swedish navy.

What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles?

Open At Other End.

Two men were sitting on a bench in a park. One of them was drunk, and the other was also Finnish.

Keep Denmark clean - show a Swede to the ferry.

More Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes:

Swedish Jokes

Danish Jokes

Norwegian Jokes

Finnish Jokes

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