SHORT COMPUTER JOKES

sHORT cOMPUTER jOKES

A ragged person stranded for many months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.

Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message.

"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."

Short Computer Jokes -- Random Computer Jokes

A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.

The doctor remarked "Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam.

This clearly required surgery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The civil engineer interrupted and said "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos.

This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering.

Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world."

The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said confidently,

"Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?

Short Computer Jokes -- Computer Software Jokes

A female computer consultant was helping a smug male set up his computer.

She asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass the female, he told her to enter "penis".

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.

She almost died laughing at the computer's response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.

Short Computer Jokes -- Humorous Computer Jokes

Upside of Y2K

January 1, 2000 Re: Vacation Pay

Dear Valued Employee:

Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s).

As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off.

One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service.

Please either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your next pay check will reflect payment of $ 8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200 months.

Sincerely,

Automated Payroll Processing

Short Computer Jokes -- Computer History Jokes

Dear Y2K Colleagues:

Here was a recent bit of confusion about Y2K that may gives us new insights into public perception:

"I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem makes any sense to me.

At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all my calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following new months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk "

And finally, the new emoticons......

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass