"We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder."
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, "Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the height and she gives us the length."
Short Irish Jokes -- Michael and Frances
Short Irish Jokes
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink.
But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable,
the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs.
"Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.
"I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man.
"And why not?"
"Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!"
Short Irish Jokes: Irishmen and a Blonde
For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn.
He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.
"Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!
"Yeah," said Mulvaney. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"