Sick Blonde Jokes -- Blondes at Doctors

A blonde went to see the doctor to get the results of her brain scan.

The doctor said: “I have some bad news for you...

First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side.”

Wanting to sound smart, the blonde interrupted,

“Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?”

The doctor replied, “Yes, but your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left.”

Sick Blonde Jokes -- Blondes at Doctors

A blonde went to the doctor and asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.

The doctor said that the device was temporarily out of order, but that he could figure the infant's weight by weighing the mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"That won't work," said the blonde. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

Sick Blonde Jokes -- Blondes at Doctors

An exhausted looking blond dragged herself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood.

They bark all day and all night, and I can't get any sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered.

"Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and you will have good sleeps."

"Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a go."

A few weeks later the blond returns, looking worse than ever.

"Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand", the doctor says. "Those are the strongest pills on the market."

"Maybe," says the blond, "but I'm up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill."

Sick Blonde Jokes -- Blondes at Doctors

An overweight blonde went to the doctor for advice.

The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days.

This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.

The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty pounds.

She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:

"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

Sick Blonde Jokes -- Blondes at Doctors

A blonde was having the same weird dream every night, so she finally went to her doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire.

Doctor: (giggling) So... what is the scenery like?

Blonde: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. 

In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. 

I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't open!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

Blonde: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

Blonde: It said "Pull".

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