Daddy’s Home
And I Think He’s
Drunk
(To The Tune Of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)
Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why;
Daddy's home and I think he's drunk.
He's walkin' real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don't even think
He’s shaved in two weeks,
Daddy's home and boy is he drunk.
He spent most
of our money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all of the rest
And lost it at the track.
Sooo.... You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don't like that look in his eye,
Daddy's home and I think he's...
Daddy's home and boy is he...
Daddy's home and he's really drunk!
-- Silly Christmas Carols --
To The Tune
"I'll be Home for
Christmas"
by D M Goldstein
I'll be Cloned for Christmas,
There’ll be three of me;
One to Work, and One to Shop,
And One just for Parties.
Christmas Eve, I'm certain,
I won't be alone;
I'll be home for Christmas,
Or else I'll send a Clone!
-- Silly Christmas Carols --
All I
Want For Christmas Is
My Two Front Teeth
Everybody stops
and stares at me
These two teeth are
gone as you can see
I don't know just who
to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve
is as plain as it can be!
All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth!
Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."
It seems so long since I could say,
"Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!"
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
if I could only whistle (thhhh, thhhh)
All I want for Christmas
is my two front teeth,
my two front teeth,
see my two front teeth.
Gee, if I could only
have my two front teeth,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas!"
-- Silly Christmas Carols --
The Holiday Season (To the tune of "Deck The Halls")
by Mary Campbell
'Tis the season to be greedy!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!
Treat ourselves, forget the needy!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!
Charging gifts with wild abandon!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!
Credit limits not withstandin'!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!
Sing we now the spendthrift's carol!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!
Buying presents by the barrel!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!
Throwing parties, being merry!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!
'Till bills come in January!
Fa la la la la, La la la la!