Sports Dieting Jokes

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

Every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life.

This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

Calorie Burning Activities...

Jumping to conclusions 100

Bending the rules 150

Stirring up trouble 150

Beating the system 100

Passing the buck 50

Pushing your luck 250

Flying off the handle 100

Circulating rumors 150

Wading through paperwork 300

Shooting the bull 150

Jumping on the bandwagon 200

Balancing the books 25

Running around in circles 350

Slinging mud 150

Running down everything 250

Dodging responsibilities 200

Climbing the carrier ladder 750

Digging up dirt 260

Adding fuel to the fire 160

Sit in the tub 20

pull the plug 20

fight the current 50

Wrapping it up at the day's end 12

Opening a can of worms 50

Putting your foot in your mouth 300

Throwing your weight around 350

Starting the ball rolling 90

Going over the edge 25

Picking up the pieces after 350

Counting eggs before they hatch 6

Calling it quits 2

Books on exercise are selling by the thousands.

And there's a reason for this.

It's a lot easier to read than it is to exercise.

He's developing a more active lifestyle. Now he sits and watches aerobics shows on television.

Exercise wouldn't be a problem with me if I had a different body to do it with.

If it weren't for parking lots, some of us wouldn't do any walking at all.

A woman was hit by a bus.

In her dying breath, she was heard to say,

"Thank goodness. No more aerobics."

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