SWEDISH JOKES

sHORT sWEDISH jOKES

There was a fire in the royal library in Stockholm, and the king was utterly depressed because both books were burned and he'd only gotten around to painting in one of them.

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There were these two Swedish twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it.

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The little Swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer were so much longer. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat makes everything expand."

-- Short Swedish Jokes --

"Dad, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. "Hey, wait a minute. Are you sure it's yours?" the Swedish father responded.

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A Norwegian was complaining to a Swede about the high price of petrol. The Swede just responded, "I don't care much about that. I always fill up for 100 kronor anyways."

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A Swedish student was in a bookstore. "This book will do half the job for you," the clerk said. "Good, I will have two, " the Swede replied.

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Did you hear that abortion has caught on so well in Sweden that now there's a 10 month waiting period.

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A Swede was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all his life. "Not yet," he answered.

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A Norwegian and a Swede were competing to see who could reach furthest out of a window. Quite suddenly the Swede won.

-- Short Swedish Jokes --

A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. "Just a moment," the clerk said. "Oh, thank you," the Swede replied and hung up.

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A Swede was reading the phonebook, "Svenson... Svenson.. Svenson.. It's incredible how many phone numbers that guy has."

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There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of you flunk this math class," he said. One of the kids put up his hand. "But there aren't that many in this class," he said.

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What's written on the bottom of bottles in Sweden?

"Öppnas på andra sidan". (Open in the other end).

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Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Sweden?

It's impossible to find three wise men there, let alone a virgin.

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What happens to the average IQ in Norway and Sweden if a dumb Norwegian moves to Sweden?

It increases in both countries.

-- Short Swedish Jokes --

What do the signs on the roundabouts in Sweden say?

"Högst fyra varv." (Max 4 rounds)