The little Swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer
were so much longer. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat
makes everything expand."
-- Short Swedish Jokes --
"Dad, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. "Hey, wait a minute. Are you
sure it's yours?" the Swedish father responded.
A
Norwegian was complaining
to a Swede about the high price of petrol. The Swede just responded, "I
don't care much about that. I always fill up for 100 kronor anyways."
A Swedish student was in a bookstore. "This book will do half the job
for you," the clerk said. "Good, I will have two, " the Swede replied.
Did you hear that abortion has caught on so well in Sweden that now
there's a 10 month waiting period.
A Swede was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all his life. "Not yet,"
he answered.
A Norwegian and a Swede were competing to see who could reach furthest
out of a window. Quite suddenly the Swede won.
-- Short Swedish Jokes --
A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane
to get from Stockholm to Paris. "Just a moment," the clerk said. "Oh,
thank you," the Swede replied and hung up.
A Swede was reading the phonebook, "Svenson... Svenson.. Svenson.. It's
incredible how many phone numbers that guy has."
There was
this Swedish teacher
who was yelling at his class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I
wouldn't be surprised if 50% of you flunk this math class," he said.
One of the kids put up his hand. "But there aren't that many in this
class," he said.
What's written on the bottom of bottles in Sweden?
"Öppnas pÃ¥ andra sidan". (Open in the other end).
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Sweden?
It's impossible to find three wise men there, let alone a virgin.
What happens to the average IQ in Norway and Sweden if a dumb Norwegian
moves to Sweden?
It increases in both countries.
-- Short Swedish Jokes --
What do the signs on the roundabouts in Sweden say?
"Högst fyra varv." (Max 4 rounds)
What is the penalty for suicide in Sweden?
Life in prison.
The Swedish
doctor was so afraid
of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his
drink.
Why do Swedes always drink their milk in the store?
Because on the packet it says: Öppnas här. (Open here).
Why don't
Swedes want to sit on
the second floor of double-decker buses?
Because there's no driver.
Why are
Swedish jokes getting
sillier and sillier?
Because the Swedes have started to make them up themselves.