Texting Jokes

Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back.

My Reality Check bounced.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.

Born Free...  Taxed to Death.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

The new Chinese Cookbook is out at pet stores: 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog.

A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here".

What does a blonde owl say? What, what?

Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Your brain is in 2 parts.

Left brain has nothing right in it and right brain has nothing left in it.

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested.

Did you know that you can get exercise pushing your luck?

It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here".

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

God thought that since he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother.

Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

Two goldfish are in a tank.

One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

sidewalk Not rated yet
Have you heard the one about the side walk? It's all over town.!

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