TURNING 40 JOKES 

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife.

He says to the doctor, "Doctor, my wife is turning 40 and I think she is becoming deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things."

"Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her.

If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it again.

Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness".

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed.

He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again.

No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply.

He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

-- Good Turning 40 Jokes -- Funny Turning 40 Jokes

A man asked his wife when she was turning 40,

"What would you most like for your birthday?"

She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.

He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear.

She had a go on every ride there was.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.

Then the were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola.

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked,

"Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"

One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"

-- Good Turning 40 Jokes -- Funny Turning 40 Jokes

Two weeks ago was my 40th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning.

I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday” and probably have a present for me.

She didn’t even say “Good Morning”, let alone any “Happy Birthday.”

I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you. The children will remember.

“The children came down to breakfast and didn’t say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, “Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday.”

I felt a little better. Someone had remembered.

I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said,

“You know it is such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.”

I said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day.

Let’s go. We went to lunch.

We didn’t go where we normally go.

We went out into the country to a little private place.

We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, “You know it is such a

beautiful day; we don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”

I said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”

After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think

I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.

Sure,” I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.

They were all singing "Happy Birthday" ... and there I sat on the couch ... naked.

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