WALKS INTO A BAR JOKES
wALKS iNTO a bAR jOKES
A chicken walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve poultry!"
The chicken says "That's OK I just want a drink."
A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want a Longneck?" The giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"
A pony walks into a bar and coughs, "Hey, COUGH. Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH.
The bartender serves him and says, "What's with your voice?" The pony says, "Nothing, I'm just a little hoarse."
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer," he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
A bear walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says
"Can I have a large Gin and . . . . . . . . . Tonic please?"
The bartender says, "Yes, but, why the big pause?"
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and the mushroom says - "Why not? I'm a fungi."
A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."
A fly walks into as bar and says to a lady "nice stool you're sitting on."
-- Walks Into A Bar Jokes -- Walks Into A Bar Jokes --
A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicks him out.
A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"
A giraffe walks into a bar. "High balls are on me!"
A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get for you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.
A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your type here!"
A black, a Rabbi, a Pollock, a blonde, a Russian, a priest, and a nun walk into the bar. The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
Two penguins walk into a bar...a third penguin says "You'd have thought the second one would have seen it."
A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.
-- Walks Into A Bar Jokes --
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not", then disappeared.
A corn stalk walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wanna hear a good joke?" The corn stalk says, "I'm all ears!"
An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"
A brain walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. The barman says, "I'm not serving you, you're out of your skull!"
A professor walks into a bar and orders a double martinous. The bartender says, "you mean a double martini?" The professor says, "If I want more than one I'll ask for it."
John Hurt walks into a bar, with that alien emerging from his chest. The bartender asks, "What's gotten into you?"
A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "Can I help you?" The duck says, "Yeah, you can get this guy off my butt!"
A snake walks into a bar. Waaaa?
A Canadian guy walks into a bar, on the stool next to him is some footwear. The says to the bartender, "What's this - a boot?"
-- Walks Into A Bar Jokes -- Walks Into A Bar Jokes --
A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Get outta here! We don't serve your type. This is a singles bar."
Times New Roman, Arial, Verdana and Sans Serif walk into a bar. Bartender says, sorry guys, we don't want your type in here.
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?" The bartender says, "Sorry, we only have plain."
Walks Into A Bar Jokes -- Jokes into a Bar
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
An
Irishman walks
out of a bar. Hey, in the end of the night it happens!
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