WALKS INTO A BAR JOKES

A chicken walks into a bar.



The bartender says "We don't serve poultry!"

The chicken says "That's OK I just want a drink."

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want a Longneck?" The giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"

A pony walks into a bar and coughs, "Hey, COUGH. Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH.

The bartender serves him and says, "What's with your voice?" The pony says, "Nothing, I'm just a little hoarse."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer," he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer.

"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.

"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."

A bear walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender  and says

"Can I have a large Gin and . . . . . . . . . Tonic please?"

The bartender says, "Yes, but, why the big pause?"

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and the mushroom says - "Why not? I'm a fungi."

A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

A fly walks into as bar and says to a lady "nice stool you're sitting on."

-- Walks Into A Bar Jokes -- Walks Into A Bar Jokes --

A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicks him out.

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

A giraffe walks into a bar. "High balls are on me!"

A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get for you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.

A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your type here!"

A black, a Rabbi, a Pollock, a blonde, a Russian, a priest, and a nun walk into the bar. The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

Two penguins walk into a bar...a third penguin says "You'd have thought the second one would have seen it."

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.

-- Walks Into A Bar Jokes --

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not", then disappeared.

A corn stalk walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wanna hear a good joke?" The corn stalk says, "I'm all ears!" 

An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"

A brain walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. The barman says, "I'm not serving you, you're out of your skull!"

A professor walks into a bar and orders a double martinous. The bartender says, "you mean a double martini?" The professor says, "If I want more than one I'll ask for it."

John Hurt walks into a bar, with that alien emerging from his chest. The bartender asks, "What's gotten into you?"

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "Can I help you?" The duck says, "Yeah, you can get this guy off my butt!"

A snake walks into a bar. Waaaa?

A Canadian guy walks into a bar, on the stool next to him is some footwear. The says to the bartender, "What's this - a boot?"

-- Walks Into A Bar Jokes -- Walks Into A Bar Jokes --

A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Get outta here! We don't serve your type. This is a singles bar."

Times New Roman, Arial, Verdana and Sans Serif walk into a bar. Bartender says, sorry guys, we don't want your type in here.

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?" The bartender says, "Sorry, we only have plain."

Walks Into A Bar Jokes -- Jokes into a Bar

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

An Irishman walks out of a bar. Hey, in the end of the night it happens!

What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Battery cables walk into a bar 
A pair of battery cables walk into a bar and order a beer, and the bartender says "I'll serve you but don't try to start anything". …

Soccer Balls  Not rated yet
1000 soccer balls walk into a bar. The bar tender says, "Hey, I can't serve all you guys". One of the soccer balls pipes up and says, "that's …

Tums Not rated yet
Two lions walk into a bar. One says, "I'm hungry and I'm gonna eat that woman serving the drinks." He proceeds to gobble her up. An hour …

a penguin walks into a bar Not rated yet
A penguin is driving down the road on a hot day when suddenly a big puff of smoke comes from under the hood and oil starts pouring onto the street. …

short story Not rated yet
A short story walks into a bar. THE END.

Duck duck! Not rated yet
The bartender says: DUCK duck The duck waves and proceeds to walk into the bar The duck says: Owe, that really hurt The bartender says: I told you …

Grasshopper walks into a bar... Not rated yet
Grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says.. "hey we have a drink named after you" and the grasshopper replied.... "you have a drink …

Jumper Cables Walk into a Bar... Not rated yet
Jumper cables walk into a bar and the bartender says .. "Ok, I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

A panda walks into a bar.... Not rated yet
A panda walks into a bar. He orders a bowl of chips, eats it, then pulls out a gun and proceeds to fire it at people. "Why?" asks the confused, …

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