WEDDING ANNIVERSARY JOKES

Top ten things not to say on your anniversary...



10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.

9. Today is our WHAT?

8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?

7. I thought we only celebrated important events?

6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.

5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.

4. I've got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.

3. If you want me to pretend I care about our anniversary, I will.

2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut you up.

1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.

-- Short Wedding Anniversary Jokes --

This couple were married for 67 years.

The husband was asked; if in all those years had they ever thought of divorce.

"Heavens no" he replied. Murder yes, but never divorce.

-- Funny Wedding Anniversary Jokes --

A man was talking to his friend about what to do for his 50th wedding anniversary.

The friend asked, "What did you do for your 25th?"

He said, "I took my wife to Hawaii."

The friend then asked, "What are you thinking about for your 50th?"

He said, "Well I was thinking of bringing her back."

-- Funny Wedding Anniversary Jokes --

25th Wedding Anniversary

At the banquet of Tom and Susan’s 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responded, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all.

It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

-- Funny Wedding Anniversary Jokes --

On their way home after celebrating their 25th anniversary, she thanks him for a wonderful evening.

"Oh. it's not over yet", says the husband.

Once in the house, he gives her a little black velvet box.

She opens it in anticipation, "But what are these two little pills?"

"Aspirin", says he.

"But I don't have a headache," she says.

"There you are, I told you the evening wasn't over yet!"

-- 40th Wedding Anniversary --

John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.

"Would you like a new Mink Coat?" he asks.

"Not really," says Mary.

"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.

"No," she responds.

"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.

She again rejects his offer with a, "No thanks."

"Well what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks.

"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.

"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," says John.