Wedding MC Jokes and Other Wedding Toast Jokes

I would like to thank you all for coming here today.

Just for your information the seating arrangement has been specially organised with all of the people that bought large presents being placed towards the front and those that bought cheaper smaller presents at the back...

There is a special thanks for uncle Fred who is at the back for the oven glove.

The bride would like to ask uncle Fred if she could have the other glove for their Silver Wedding Anniversary.

To the bride, - may she share everything with her husband...and that includes the housework.

Never go to bed angry ………… always stay up and argue.

Groom, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in:

"Yes dear"

Keep the lid down, and, he best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

-- Wedding Toast Jokes --

Lift your glasses with me and toast the Bride.

When that great Greek philosopher of olden days, Socrates, was asked his opinion of marriage, he replied,

"By all means marry, if you get a good wife, you will be happy.

If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

To not only a good wife, but the best. Cheers.

-- Wedding MC Jokes --

A toast to the Bride and Groom on this their special day.

We wish for them all the best in their search.

And a search it is going to be, for in the words of Henny Youngman,

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." Best of luck in figuring it out.

-- Marriage Jokes --

Married life is full of excitement and frustration :

- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

I propose a toast to the institution of marriage.

When the actor Mickey Rooney, who was married several times was asked to give his advice on marriage, he replied.

"Always get married early in the morning, that way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

-- The Cost of Getting Married --

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

- Wedding MC Jokes, Wedding Toast Jokes --

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.

Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
-- Wedding MC Jokes -- Wedding Toast Jokes --

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.

They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

-- The Best Man Jokes --

You know, the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to actually prove it!'

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