WORKPLACE JOKES

Workplace Jokes and Other Work Related Jokes

Businessmen Jokes

A young businessman had just started his own company.

He rented a big office and had it furnished with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office...

Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

Workplace Jokes and Other Work-Related Jokes -- Employment Jokes

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill...

He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning.

Well, both employees came to work very early.

Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break.

Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.

Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk.

Then the manager thought he'd wait & see who would leave work the earliest and both employees stayed after closing.

Jill finally went to the coat rack & the manager went up to her & said,

"Jill, I have a terrible problem.

I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off."

Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus."

Workplace Jokes and Other Work-Related Jokes -- Accountant Jokes

There was a man who was an accountant for the mob.

He happened to be deaf and mute.

While working for the mob he collected over 500,000 dollars by stealing from the books.

The mob boss found out about it and sent two gunmen to his house.

Since the accountant was deaf and mute his brother translated what the accountant said.

Gunman: where is the money?

Accountant signs he does not know.

Brother: he said he does not know.

Gunman: tell us where the money is or we will kill your wife and kids, burn down your house, and castrate you.

Accountant signs fast and furiously that the money is in a safe that is hidden in the floorboard of his closet and gives the code.

Gunman: what did he say?

Brother: you don't have the balls!

Workplace Jokes and Other Work-Related Jokes -- Bet Jokes

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve's wife.

Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.

After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer.

"So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.

"Yep", replied Bob.

"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"

Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me!"

"What??" exclaims Jeff, "you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??"

"Sure," Bob says.

"Why?" asks Jeff.

"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'are you Steve's

widow?'

'Widow?', she said, 'no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!'

So I said: "I'll bet you a six-pack you ARE!'

More workplace jokes:

Funny Office Jokes

Job Interview Jokes

Boss Jokes

Funny Lawyer Joke

Police Officer Jokes

Philosophy Jokes